Slothturday. I mean, Saturday…

So what if I had a bunch of days off for the holiday, then a snow day and now the weekend? I’m entitled to be a sloth if I want to! Actually, I can’t even say that I was. So, I slept in til about noon today. But I eventually got up, read an entire magazine and wrote a blog review on it, cleaned my bathroom, vacuumed, cleaned the litter boxes, fed the cats, gave Princess Kitty her medicine, cooked myself dinner, did a load of laundry, caught up on some tv… If I was a sloth, I would have just laid in bed all day long and did NOTHING! So there! Disregard that title, folks! And there’s STILL one more day left in my weekend so BOO-YAH!

That being said, because I haven’t left my house or experienced anything new today, I don’t have much material to go with here. I’m new at this whole blogging thing. I want to do it every day in both of my blogs, but I’m not sure what tone I want this blog to take. I have my professional blog, which is on another account and will not be associated with this one; gotta keep my personas separated! I tried having a go at a sex and relationships blog, transferred it to Facebook, but then I decided I wanted to go back to being anonymous if I did that. Which means I would have to pick a new title, re-vamp what I had already blogged about, and then find a way to generate traffic to it without sharing the link on Facebook. I know there are some pro-bloggers out there. Help a sista out. How do I become more popular? Do I have to have an underlying theme to the blog or can I just rant and rave and talk about my crazy life and all it’s happenings? I don’t necessarily want to make money off of this, but I want to know that people are reading and i’m not just keeping this blog as a diary to myself.

Well, it’s 8:30 pm and Dance Moms and a Lifetime movie are calling my name! Hopefully I can fall asleep earlier so I can, in turn, wake UP earlier and have a more productive day tomorrow. Even though Sunday is a day of rest…

Ah, well.

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Negativity spreads like wildfire…

I don’t understand why some people are just so miserable that they feel the need to spread it around, to make everyone else miserable or to get others to jump on their miserable band-wagon. I guess that age old saying is true– “Misery loves company!”

As I blog and you get to know the inner workings of my mind, you will see I’m not perfect. I don’t claim to be or even want to be. I am a sarcastic, opinionated bitch. I have a very short fuse and hate many things and people. But I do NOT let that part of my personality consume me. Ever. As someone who battles with depression and bi-polar disorder, I cannot allow myself to feel this way all the time because it will drag me down. I have many wonderful things in my life. I have much to be happy and thankful for. I let those feelings consume. The happy, warm, joyfully positive feelings, thoughts and memories. Of course there will be times when the negative creep in. When I feel depressed and lost and sad. But that’s my own personal battle and I never, EVER try to drag down others with me.

Why is it that there are so many people that allow the negative to BECOME them. People who are constantly trying to knock others down. It’s bullying. You get bullied in grade school and you get bullied as an adult. It hasn’t stopped, it never ends. What’s even funnier to me is this: when looking at these adult bullies, I see people who were no doubt bullied themselves. Mean mean girls. And I guarantee you, if I posted a Facebook status about this(you know, Vaguebook, passive aggressive-ness) these people would be among the FIRST to “like” it. So what is that saying? That they know it’s about them and are embracing their “mean girl” status? That they really don’t think they are like that and are so holier than thou that they can put others down for behaving that way, but don’t see it in themselves.

I have never been a “sheep.” I never followed the crowd. Of course there would be trends that I would follow, but I have never and will never compromise or change who I am because of someone else. I will never jump on a band-wagon. I form my OWN opinions. I take chances and have experiences, do new things and meet new people and I form my own opinions ON MY OWN based on these interactions and experiences. I like what I like because I like it. I look at the big picture. I am not narrow and close minded. Everyone deserves an equal chance and I always look at MY own actions before I judge others, because, let’s face it, sometimes how you react and behave can reflect how others behave TOWARDS you. There’s a saying that says something like, you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you REACT to what happens.

More along the lines of what is eating at me… a comparison is this. Let’s say I go to a restaurant and I don’t like everything on the menu and I’ve had one or two bad waiters. But there’s also one or two things I really enjoyed on the menu and I had great interactions with other staff members. Am I going to go bad mouth the restaurant and boycott and refuse to eat there and try to get all my friends and everyone I know on board with me? Um… no. That’s not the way the world works. Why would I boycott an entire restaurant due to a few negative interactions. That makes sense, right? So without divulging any info on my personal life, let’s use that comparison to what I’m dealing with right now. It just makes me sad.

And it frustrates the living CRAP out of me!!!

There’s also another saying that I’m sure most of our parents told us when we were younger. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I wish more people would follow that. Coming from someone who has NO filter, but who knows how to bite her freaking tongue, this shouldn’t be too hard, people! Think before you speak. Reflect on your own actions. You are NOT perfect. Stop acting like it. Stop being passive aggressive and fighting with your fists or by talking behind backs. Confront your problems and issues with people like a mature adult. Be calm. Be professional. One day, if not already, you will have kids of your own. Would you want them to behave like you? Or to do better? Some food for thought…

End Rant.

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Snow Day!

Snow day, snow day, it’s a snow day!(she sings out loud, in a joyful voice).

Except not really. I hate snow. I hate the cold! Make it go away! I need to move to Florida or something. Winter is just not for me. Although I’m glad my crazy morning filled with bitter cold, snow, ice and anxiety about driving to work was made better by the fact that I could change into my pjs and lay back in my nice warm bed, I am just not happy about the snow. Snow days ruin my life. They ruin my schedule. My paycheck. My balance. Why is summer SO far away? I want my beach back. The hot sun on my face. My flip flops. Picnics every day on the beach. C’mon, man! That’s all I want!

Maybe Hawaii… which would be the warmest place to move without dying from sweltering heat and humidity? Because I am seriously going to have to reconsider relocating!

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January 1, 2014

I am a firm believer that New Year’s resolutions are bull-crap. Who really keeps their resolutions for the entire 365 days? Most of us don’t make it past January. And they are always the same. Weight loss. I honestly can’t even think of any other common ones. Weight loss is usually all I ever see! While I would absolutely LOVE to drop quite a few pounds, I am going to make realistic and simple resolutions this year. And I am going to use this blog to remind me of them.

I want good health and happiness for myself this year. I want to be more patient. More understand. More kind and caring. I want to get my shit together so that I can make a better life for myself.

I also wanted to love more. And to love fully. But I’m starting 2014 with a broken heart. More about that another time. My heart is in pain right now. Pain for my love lost and pain for my loved ones who lost a loved one of their own. This is supposed to be a season for happy times and togetherness and all I have seen and felt is pain and hurt and sadness. And for some people, they will remember this pain every year around this time. My heart just breaks. I am one of those people who carries the weight of the world on my shoulders. I can’t watch the news without crying hysterically. And those save the puppy commercials? Forget it! I don’t even need Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” playing in the background! I just want to be happy and healthy. And that means mentally. I struggle a lot with depression. I put on a good show for people. And I truly believe the only reason that I am still here today is because I would feel too bad for my loved ones if I left them behind. But every day I grow to hate those around me and myself. I need a therapist, I know. Or maybe some medication. Until then, I write. And this is where this blog comes in. Oh, don’t worry! It won’t be all sad and sappy and depressing. I will talk about my life and my feelings sure, but I am also one strongly opinionated, sarcastic and sassy bitch, so I will have plenty more to write about and I hope ya’ll will stick around to read it. Happy New Year!

Ta-Ta for now…


Posted in first post, happiness, health, love, new blog, new year's day, resolutions, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment