January 1, 2014

I am a firm believer that New Year’s resolutions are bull-crap. Who really keeps their resolutions for the entire 365 days? Most of us don’t make it past January. And they are always the same. Weight loss. I honestly can’t even think of any other common ones. Weight loss is usually all I ever see! While I would absolutely LOVE to drop quite a few pounds, I am going to make realistic and simple resolutions this year. And I am going to use this blog to remind me of them.

I want good health and happiness for myself this year. I want to be more patient. More understand. More kind and caring. I want to get my shit together so that I can make a better life for myself.

I also wanted to love more. And to love fully. But I’m starting 2014 with a broken heart. More about that another time. My heart is in pain right now. Pain for my love lost and pain for my loved ones who lost a loved one of their own. This is supposed to be a season for happy times and togetherness and all I have seen and felt is pain and hurt and sadness. And for some people, they will remember this pain every year around this time. My heart just breaks. I am one of those people who carries the weight of the world on my shoulders. I can’t watch the news without crying hysterically. And those save the puppy commercials? Forget it! I don’t even need Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” playing in the background! I just want to be happy and healthy. And that means mentally. I struggle a lot with depression. I put on a good show for people. And I truly believe the only reason that I am still here today is because I would feel too bad for my loved ones if I left them behind. But every day I grow to hate those around me and myself. I need a therapist, I know. Or maybe some medication. Until then, I write. And this is where this blog comes in. Oh, don’t worry! It won’t be all sad and sappy and depressing. I will talk about my life and my feelings sure, but I am also one strongly opinionated, sarcastic and sassy bitch, so I will have plenty more to write about and I hope ya’ll will stick around to read it. Happy New Year!

Ta-Ta for now…

~A

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